While showing your children how important and special they are to you both is critical to raising well-rounded children, you must also remember never to neglect each other. Keeping that spark that led to the creation of your family alive is also the saving grace after hard days or difficult times.
Finding Alone Time Among the Chaos
With a new baby crying, the dog barking and the older one screaming over someone breaking her house on Minecraft, it may seem impossible to find alone time amongst the chaos. There is hope though. You are more than just a parent, you are part of a partnership that deserves to be nurtured. These tips can help you to find balance and give your relationship the attention it deserves.
It is important for your children to see what it means to be in a healthy relationship. So in a way, you owe it to your children, and of course, yourselves to take care of your relationship. All in all, it will make for a better, happier, and healthier lifestyle for the whole family.
Setting a Schedule
Schedule time together. A spontaneous date night most likely will not be possible like it used to be, but you can plan ahead. Set a time and date and mark it on your calendar. Call a family member or someone you trust to watch the kids, so you can enjoy yourselves and not stress on the anything.
Setting a schedule for the kids is also important. If you can stick to a schedule, then you can have a good idea of when the two of you may be able to sit back and enjoy some alone time. Little things like enjoying a movie together alone, or something you both would enjoy (and the kids would refer to as "boring") is now a possibility because the kids are in bed – as scheduled!
Sometimes it's the little things that make a world of difference. Small things such as waking up early and enjoying those first few minutes alone together in the morning, or enjoying a late night dessert can make a world of difference.
Sharing the Responsibilities
Sharing in the responsibilities can greatly assist in obtaining that precious alone time together. This is because with both of you working together to tackle the tasks that are needed, the alone time can come that much sooner.In addition to the time arriving sooner, you are also enjoying time together without even realizing it. When you are working together on tasks such as making dinner you are able to converse and share a laugh.
If you have a newborn, divide and conquer. One of you get baby down for a nap and the other set up the other kids with cartoons and snacks. Then you can sneak off to the other room to "talk".
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
It may seem impossible now, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. If the new baby is leaving you sleep deprived, don't worry. With a consistent schedule and the introduction to baby food, most babies begin sleeping for longer stretches of time by 4 months. This is only a short period of time in the grand scheme of things. Then, you can begin returning to some of your old routines, or creating better ones.
Until then, be each other’s light at the end of the tunnel. Show affection, kiss often, remind each other that you are a team – and will make it through, together.