Leading up to the arrival of a new baby can sometimes bring with it certain stressors or rattled nerves. Some fears lead to arguing or silence. Calming unsettled nerves relies on talking with your spouse to uproot the underlying causes.
Calming Unsettled Nerves
Whether it is your wife, your husband, or your children – sometimes the days, weeks or months leading up to the big day can be a mixture of good and bad. This could be because someone in the house may have certain fears about the little newcomer. It could also be a feeling of not being ready or prepared for the new arrival. If it is a child, it could be because of jealousy or fear of a change in family dynamic. No matter what the unsettled feelings are about, or who is experiencing them, talking it out always carries the highest chance for change.
If Your Spouse is Unsettled
If your spouse is feeling unsettled, the first step is getting them to say that they are experiencing unsettled nerves. This may be difficult for some. Men and women may find it hard to speak to the other about nervousness. This may be because each may be afraid to speak negatively concerning the pregnancy or the impending arrival. In fact, because the arrival is impending, some people may find it hard to speak to the other – especially if the other has displayed non-stop excitement.
Remember, your spouse may be just as nervous as you, but they may be acting overly excited because they don’t want to disappoint you! Either way, you will never find peace unless you – or your spouse – find closure. Talking it out will help you both to hear each other’s feelings, and why you both feel the way you do.
Sometimes, just being able to speak freely about your emotions can have a major impact on how you are feeling. Just always keep in mind, just because your spouse is currently feeling unsettled, does not mean that they are not just as excited as you. It just means that they have some other things on their mind, or are experiencing certain fears. This is normal, and should be addressed as such. Believe me, speaking to one another reinforces trust, and can alleviate feelings of worry or fear just by showing understanding.
If Your Kids are Unsettled
If your children are demonstrating some unsettled nerves about the arrival of the new baby, speaking with can go a lot further than you may realize. The reasons for being unsettled will differ due to the specific age group of your child or children. When it comes to younger kids, unsettled nerves may have to do with jealousy or fear that the new baby will take their place – which is not the same as jealousy. It is a legitimate fear (at least in the child’s mind). Older kids and teens may be experiencing fear for numerous reasons. Many times older kids have only the best of intentions for their worries, no matter how misplaced their worries may be.
Again, talking it out with your children is always the best thing to do, and is the fastest way to nix any problems before the arrival of the brand new baby. It is best to have the family united as early on in your pregnancy as possible. It also helps in planning routines for when the baby does arrive.
Assigning children responsibilities can help a lot. It alleviates any combative feelings and replaces them with team responsibilities. Sometimes just speaking with them and letting them voice their fears or concerns can have a large impact on how they feel. Children are people too, but the younger they are, the harder it may be for them to express themselves in a constructive manner. So you must take the lead. Be their leader, and be understanding. They may just feel alone or left out, so some simple understanding could be all they need. Being there for them when they feel this way, in any case, is going to make a difference.